An Essay About Family

A Call from Them Can Be Very Meaningful For Me

I want to talk about living separately from family. This is a condition that makes you know more about how important the family is. I want to talk about this because living separately from family is one of my experiences. Based on my experience, it’s not an easy life. I have missed many events with my family. Some people can live together with their family. They can meet their family   every day. They have much time to talk and to share with their family. They can do many things with family, such as having breakfast together, talking in the living room together, and spending weekend together. For people who live separately from their family, doing usual things like that can become very special moments, because they do those things rarely. For me, living apart from family is a precious experience. I have learned many things, especially about what family means for me.

Actually, people describe family in many ways. They have their own meaning about family. Everybody in the world has family. They have different stories about their family. What does the FAMILY mean for you? For me, family is everything. My father, my mother, my brothers and my little sister are precious people in my life. We always keep and love each other. I have two brothers and one sister. They are younger than me. Distance of our ages isn’t too far, between two until four years. In my opinion, having two brothers and one sister is like getting an injection when we are sick. Actually it is painful but it also cures me. To be honest, they were naughty and often disturb me when I was doing a work. Sometimes, having a sister and two brothers is one of my tired moments. When I was a child they always cried if they quarreled with each other. After that, my mother would get angry with me because I’m the oldest. She said that I should stop the dispute.  Exactly I thought it was not fair, but I couldn’t talk anything to help myself, because my mother would be angrier than before if I talked too much.

However, having two brothers and one sister is not always a tired moment. I also have friends to play monopoly and ular tangga, ride bicycle, and swim together in my spare time. In other words I never feel lonely, because they always accompany me to play together, share something, and help me whether I need some help. I also liked to help them doing homework. It was very fun moment, because I could know more about their ability in the school and I could know how far they have understood about the lessons. When my little sister is in kindergarten, I liked to accompany her to school and she was very happy. She told her friends that she has an older sister and she was very proud of that. However, when she was getting older she changed. She asked me not to escort her to the school when she was in the second grade of elementary school. She didn’t want to be seen like a little girl. She wanted to go to school by herself. Similar situation happened in my brother. When I was in kindergarten, he always wanted to follow me to go to the school. He also wanted to play with me and my friends. However when he was getting older, he asked me to go, when I wanted to see them playing with his friends. He was embarrassed if he played with me. He said whether their friends would call him “little boy” if I accompanied him when he was playing with his friends.

Knowing some small facts about them is an interesting thing. I can study about their characteristics. I can know more about them. In my opinion knowing the characteristic about the members of our family is important. It can help us to communicate with them easily. We know exactly what should we do to entertain them, if they are getting in some problems. We will know exactly what they need. We not only can know the exact way to entertain them, we also can reduce the dispute between us. The most important thing is we can more respect each other. I think respecting, loving, and keeping each other is one of meaning of the family.

According to an entitled essay Family in Wikipedia the word family means a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, or co-residence. In most societies it is the principal institution for the socialization of children.("Family," 2011). The member of family in small group are father, mother, and children and in larger group we know there are other members, such as grandfather, grandmother, uncle, aunt, nephew, niece, and cousin. Family is a first place for children to get their education. The members of family will teach them many things, such as talking, smiling, eating, and walking. Mother often meets the children, so she can teach the children more often than a father and other members of family. The children will imitate the people behavior around him, so it is important for the mother not to talk in a harsh manner, even angry with the children. It can give some bad effects to them because they will imitate it.

However the larger families usually don’t live in the same place, they live separately. Grandmother and grandfather who live separately from their children and grandchildren are rare to play with their grandchildren. Thus, children are rare to imitate the behavior from their grandparents. Even, some of them need time to be familiar with their grandparents. It is happened to me , my two brothers and my sister. My family lived separately from our big family. We lived in the different city. We meet my grandmother, my grandfather, my aunt, my uncle, and my cousin rarely. Since I was two years old, we had moved in some cities. We had to move because my father had to work in another city, so we followed him.

My brothers, my sister, and I met our big family rarely. We only met them once in two years, when Lebaran was coming. That opportunity was very special for us. My brothers, my sister, and I as children used that time effectively.  We spent our time to play with our cousins and we talked to many people to know them more. At first I felt difficult to memorize all of their names but in the next day I had already memorized some of their names and I had already memorized all of their names in the end of the week. I felt happy because of gathering with my big family. I liked hearing stories from my cousins. We talked about our experiences in our school. They also taught me some words in Palembang Language. My family and I are from Palembang, but I couldn’t speak in Palembang Language fluently because we did not stay there. They laughed at me when I was trying to speak those words. They said that my accent is funny. However I never got angry with them even I laughed with them. It also happened with our parents. They used that time to gather with their relatives. In Lebaran, my mother, her relatives, and my grandmother cooked together. They cooked a lot of Lebaran food from Indonesia, such as opor ayam, sambal ati, and ketupat. In my grandparents village the most complete traditional market only open once a week. However, one day before Lebaran it opens very early, at 04.00 a.m. Thus, the men included my father, helped their wives to buy many things, such as chicken, meat, and egg in that market. If they came to the market earlier, they would get fresher meat. Gathering in Lebaran is one of the most valuable moments that I have. However my mother thought sometimes it was also necessary to spend our Lebaran in the city that we were staying because people there were also our family.

In Indonesia, most people who live separately from their big family usually go to the hometown if there are long holidays, such as Lebaran holidays and Natal holidays. Going to the hometown in Lebaran and Natal holidays has become Indonesian people tradition. It is usually known as mudik.  It becomes a big moment that is used by them to meet and know the other families. It’s a very special moment that they can meet their parents and their relatives. Their children can play with their cousins. They also can talk much thing and share about their experiences. Talking much thing can make they know more about each other. It’s a very relaxing moment. They don’t need to think about works and worry about their busy activities for a while. They just need to enjoy that moment.

In fact gathering with family is one of a very happy moment for people. They get this happiness from family’s love. Based on Wikipedia word happiness means a mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.”("Happiness," 2011). Gathering with family is one of positive activities. There are many positive activities that we can do, while we are gathering with our family. “Happiness is a pleasant emotion made out of contentment, love, joy, inner peace and fulfillment.” ("Definition Of Happiness. What Happiness Is And Isn't," 2011). My happiness will increase when I’m near with my mother and my father. I will stop crying when my mother hugs me because I feel peaceful, comfortable, and safe near her. According to Wikipedia happiness is characteristic of a good life, that is, a life in which a person fulfills human nature in an excellent way.("Happiness," 2011). Having a good family is one of indicator of having a good life. Gathering with family fullfils our life. It is one of positive activities. We can forget for a moment the stress routines, such as meeting in the office, projects from our boss, and homework from our teacher when we are gathering with our family. Sometimes talking our problem with our family is a good way to decrease our stress.

I have talked about the bigger family that lives separately. How about a small family which lives separately? Are they happy? However the larger family is not only the family which lives separately. Sometimes the small family also lives separately. They don’t live in the same place. They sometimes have to live separately because of some reasons. Some of them have to live separately because of education reason. Some people choose to go to the far place for studying because they want to study in a good university. Thus, they can’t meet their family for a long time. Others must live separately because of work reason that requires them to live separately with their family. A man who has obligation for looking some money to cost the necessities of their family sometimes gets in this situation. The father must live separately with his wife and his children because he has to work in another city. He works for his family. He must cost the necessities of the family. His children need money to buy a new toy. They need money to get good education.  They also need money to get enough nutrition. Costing necessity of the family, such as food, clothes, and house is father’s obligation. Actually a wife can work to help his husband but it’s not her main obligation. Supporting her husband with become a good wife for him and become a good mother for their children will help the father.

A man that leaves his family and stays in the far place from his family always worries about his family condition. He will worry about the health from his children and his wife. He worries if his wife can’t keep their children without him. He knows that his wife needs his support to lighten up her life. He is always afraid if one day there is a bad situation happens in his family. He knows that his wife needs her husband to help her. The wife will feel safer if her husband is near her. She will become stronger to face many problems. Another worry from the husband is if his children do naughty things. They can make his mother feel angry and sad. This is not a good condition, because it can make the mother feels stress. That problem will disturb the peacefulness in the home. The father has many worries about their family problems. Those problems are thought by the father and it makes his life becomes not too comfortable.

Same with the husband, wife also worries about her husband. She will feel sad if her husband is not in a good condition. She knows that her husband is alone there. He needs his wife’s help, when he is sick. The husband doesn’t have family that can treat him when he is sick. There isn’t family around him that can support him to make him feel better. He also doesn’t have a wife to get some healthy food and to get extra attention. The wife doesn’t like to imagine that his husband has to live alone without family in the far place. She worries about everything. She worries about the food that her husband eats every day, about the problem that must be faced by the husband, and she worries if her husband feels lonely. He will not get focus in his work if he has many problems and there isn’t family near him that will give support to him. She knows that her husband needs someone to make him feel happy when he faces the problem in the office. Wife worries many things about her husband.

Living separately is not easy. We will not only worry each other, we also must believe in each other. Keep believing is important to keep harmony of a family. According to oxford dictionary keep can mean promise. It means your promise to do what you have promised. It also can mean staying in a particular condition.  Belief is a strong feeling that something or somebody exists or is true. It also means confidence that something or somebody is good or right. (Hornby, 2000).

Thus, keep believing can mean staying and promising something or somebody to believe it. We promise to believe that something or somebody is true. Everything that happens in our life has the reason. Therefore, it’s important for us to keep believing in each other, especially our family. When we live apart, we need extra trust to keep believing. ”Trust should be like feeling of a one year old baby when you throw him in the air , he laughs, because he knows you will catch him ; that is trust.” ("Confidence, Trust & Hope," 2007). Husband and wife have to trust each other to keep the harmony of their life. Having a good harmony in the life can make living separately condition better. We will feel more comfortable and more peaceful. Both of keep believing and trusting are positive mental. Happiness will come in our life if we have positive mental. It is the reason why it is important to keep believing.

As a person who lives separately from family I know the difficulties from living separately. When I lived with my mother, my two little brothers, and my little sister without my father, my mother looks feel lonely. At first, when my father has to move to Kalimantan because of the work reason, everything became more difficult without him. However in the next month we had adapted to live without him. We started to live happily although my father has lived separately from us. My mother always said that we must give good news to our father when he phoned us. My father will feel happy if he knows that his family is in a good condition. Therefore my brother and my sister don’t want to make some dispute very often. We not only reduce the dispute between us, we also study hard so we can get the good score in the school. It can make my parents, especially my father happy. Hearing the bad news would make he felt sad and apprehensive about condition of the family. Thus, we always try to give much good news to our father. However, the condition will be different if one of us is sick. We have to give the real news to my father, so he can know our real condition. He will do something to help us.

Now, I live separately from my family. I have to live separately because of education reason. I’m studying in a Faculty of Letters in English Department, Universitas Padjadjaran. Therefore, since July 2010, I have been living in Jatinangor. I only have the chance to go home in the long holidays like Lebaran holidays and holidays in the end of semester. Thus, now, I’m in the same condition with my father. We are living separately from my mother, my little brothers, and my little sisters. Actually I often feel lonely. I need them to help me in facing some problems. I need their support. “Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.” ("Keep Believing in Yourself," 2007). Although they aren’t near me, I know they always pray for me. I don’t want to see them feel sad because of seeing me having many problems. Keep struggling is a good way to face a difficult situation. Thus, I always try to become a strong person to pass my problems.

In conclusion, living separately from family is not easy. “There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be.” ("Keep Believing in Yourself," 2007). I never hoped to live separately from family but this condition gives me many lessons. Actually, I feel hard living without my parents especially my mother. I don’t have much time to talk with her. I have missed many events that I usually do with her. Seeing her names when there is a call on my mobile phone screen is a wonderful thing. I will feel very happy when I see it. Sometimes I don’t want to hang up the phone although I don’t have other things to talk with my mother. I do that because I miss her. Living separately is a valuable experience. I more respect my family. I know more about the meaning of loving each other. I also know more about how important the family is. Now, I more appreciate everything that my family has given to me. Even, a call from them can be very meaningful for me.

Bibliographies :

Confidence, Trust & Hope [Electronic. (2007). Version], from http://motivationalsite.blogspot.com/search/label/CONFIDENCE

Definition Of Happiness. What Happiness Is And Isn't [Electronic. (2011). Version], from http://happinessaddicted.blogspot.com/2011/04/definition-of-happiness-what-happiness.html

Family [Electronic. (2011). Version], from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family

Happiness [Electronic. (2011). Version], from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happiness

Hornby, A. S. (2000). Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary: Oxford University Press C Maker.

Keep Believing in Yourself [Electronic. (2007). Version], from http://motivationalsite.blogspot.com/2007/11/keep-believing-in-yourself.html